The end #Fiction(10)

Is the end really the end?

Or is it just the beginning?

Is the end the beginning of a new world of possibilities?

Or is it just a cause of our actions?

What is the true end I wonder.

Is it death?

Or is the the moment you start to wonder

About sadness and death.

The true end,

to me

Is when you stop feeling

So whenever you feel things again… aren’t you also beginning again?

I wonder

What really is the end?

For the energy of the world remains constant throughout.

So nothing ever ends.

Or is it that nothing ever begins?

The soul never truly dies but only changes in form.

I wonder.

What is the end to you?

– SB

Hey guys. I don’t know if I want to call this a poem or not. Just consider it a part of the random musings I have.

Hope you’ve been having a beautiful day.

See you soon!

Cyclone #Fiction(9)

Two days ago when I saw the news

I realised…

There is a cyclone coming for my city.

It should scare me, but it doesn’t.

How can it scare me,

When there’s a cyclone in my mind?

A constant swirling motion of thoughts

That never slow down.

At the end of the day

When the wind begins picking up

I welcome it

For chaos meets chaos finally.

The wind picks up my hair, and it feels like an embrace.

A violent hug that matches the chaos in my mind.

-SB

Hey guys. Very short poem for you today

Real talk, a cyclone did just hit us and it was… something.

I hope you guys stay safe and I’ll see you next time.

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2 A.M #Fiction(8) [the line is blurry:)]

Its 2 am.

God. Its already been five hours since I got into bed and I haven’t slept a wink.

We don’t talk anymore. I guess its not the whole cause but part of the cause for why I can’t sleep.

I don’t know. I don’t know how I was so stupid to trust you when you said you would stay. When you said you could be trusted. People like me… don’t trust easily.

But why is it that when we do we give it to the wrong person?

I haven’t slept a wink since then. Not that I slept before that but it became a lot worse. I stopped eating. It was all worse than before.

I let myself go.

All because I trusted the wrong person.

Tell me, was I just a backup the whole time? Because I was forgiving so many times before, did I bring it upon myself? The pain and the lies.

I guess I was a convenient replacement but you didn’t expect me to turn away when I had enough.

It has been almost two years since I closed myself off. Any attempt to reach out on your side was to fill your pride and vanity and tinged with a layer of glass shards.

That day when you “cried” and said you didn’t know and you missed the signs and they didn’t tell you, was a lie. You said you’d work to gain it back, swore it to my mother and yet you did nothing. You thought, if you spoke with your poisonous silver tongue, I would fall for it again?

Remember when I waited to talk things through but you went and blabbered your nonsense to our friends? Behind my back? That was when I knew. Any ounce of care I thought you had was a lie.

Its 2 am.

I’m still awake. I’m no longer hurting. Not as much as I was then.

I have a steel cage around my heart.

I might wish things were different but I know I’m better this way and one day I’ll prove it to myself that I didn’t need you.

And that day, I’ll be able to sleep again.

– SB

Hey. Yeah I know. Let’s call it fiction for the sake of it. 🙈

This is for those out there who has been betrayed before and lost yourself for a while because you never thought they would.

You are pure. You are wonderful. You don’t need them.

With time, you’ll love yourself again. Until then, please treat yourself with kindness.

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Wish I could sleep [for the insomniac] #Fiction(7)

“Sleep is overrated”, they say.

But how could it be so?

Because when you lay

No one would really know

The scenes that play,

Like the way streams flow.

You could be in another world,

Where you live your happy fantasies.

A land where even the clouds can twirl,

And there are no tragedies.

Or you could be living your own nightmare

Where you’re fighting to survive.

A place where your worst monsters stare

And you struggle to thrive.

Whether it’s a nightmare

Or a fantasy

Being able to sleep is rare,

For me it won’t come so naturally.

For an insomniac

Or for those plagued by unknown demons,

Dreams are an attack or a clapback that throw you off track

But you don’t have to understand our reasons.

At the end of the day,

Most of us envy you.

You whose dreams are rarely grey

And where you love the view.

This is rare for us,

So simple for you.

We see it as a plus.

We wish we could dream like you too.

Oh I wish I could sleep and dream,

Of wonderful escapes, away from the screams.

So is it overrated?

Or is it just something so wonderful taken for granted?

– SB

Hey guys, back with another poem. This one goes out to all the insomniacs and sleep deprived people out there.

I suppose, sometimes we all wish we could dream too.

See you soon. (Also, the line between fiction and reality is very blurry, if you haven’t noticed yet  )

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I miss you #Fiction(6)

I miss you.
Its true.
I guess I’ve been feeling blue.
But I know you don’t even have a clue.

It was cruel,
How you left.
Crying, breaking, mind-numbingly painful.
All you were there for was a theft.

A thief,
Of my sanity,
My belief.
Proved your inhumanity.

You see,
Even if you broke me,
I’m still human. Feeling as small as a pea,
But I never did flee.

I agree, it was stupid of me.
To think you cared.
That you’d hear my plea,
And not leave me impaired.

You stared and stared
But you didn’t see.
With your nostrils flared.
Like I was a flea.

Even through all this brokenness,
I still have something you don’t.
I still feel, even if it is emptiness.
But you don’t.

I might be weak.
But I am strong in that I love
Even when I speak and the tears leak,
I speak with love.

One day… you will realise
How unfair you were.
But when you become “wise”
I won’t be there. I won’t be her.

I have a big heart.
But that doesn’t mean I stay
While you tear it apart
And lead me astray.

I miss you,
I know.
But I still flew,
Even through the snow.

I miss you I miss you
But I don’t need you.
And in that thought,
I won.

– SB

Hey guys. I’m back with another poem. I guess this is meant for those of you who have been emotionally manipulated or deeply hurt by a person. You reach a point where even though you miss them, you know they’re not good for you.

If you relate to this poem, I’m sorry. And I promise you , it will get better. I love you.🖤

See you next time.

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Create the change #Fiction(5)

“I want to change this… but how?” I wondered. Deep in thought, I didn’t notice her sit beside me.

“What are you thinking about, my dear?” She asked. The beautiful woman. My mother. Someone whose beauty I can never hope to achieve, inside and out. She was a warrior, a protector, a lover. Anyway, I’m digressing.

“I don’t know how to explain it Ma… it’s complicated.”

“Try.”

“Well, you know how our classes happen right?” She nodded. “Something disturbing is going on. You see, there are some… people who are completely disregarding mental health and privacy. To make matters worse, they mock them. Some of us want to make a change, but you know, from your own struggles, its not really possible.”

She took a deep breath. “So that’s what’s bothering you. So, these people, I think I know who you’re talking about, they’re people meant to protect you am I right?” I nodded. “And they’re being disrespectful, in what way?”

“Well… Some of them shame us. Some… make fun of those with mental issues. And… I know what that feels like. I want to change it, but the system is so against us, that if we were to take a step, it would do more harm than good.”

“Harm as in?”

“Well, for starters, there would be no change, thanks to the rules and regulations. But the repercussions… they would include blacklisting. I can’t put those who also support this cause in trouble. The system is crafted in a way, that as students, we can’t say anything. Makes us feel powerless… how can we change things if we don’t have it even as an option?”

“My dear, I know how you feel. You know, I’ve organised protests and such back in my day. And you know the backlash you get. Those in power will do anything to stay in power my dear. You see, they will preach freedom and courage as long as you stay within their lines. And mental health wasn’t as big now as it was then.”

“I understand, but how do we make things better for those who come after?”

“You can. Just work for it. Maybe not today. But show love and support for yourself and those who are down and can’t speak for themselves. Work till you get in a position to change things for them. This isn’t a change that happens overnight.”

“I suppose you’re right. I’m just tired mum, of fighting this battle that we have no chance of winning.” I sighed.

“You know why I named you so, love?”

“No mum.”

” I named you Elysia because it reminds me of the word elysian. It means beautiful, creative and peaceful. So my love, you will find your own creative way to deliver peace to those around you. The fact that you’re thinking of those around you makes me very proud. And always remember. Good things come to those who wait. 

“Thank you Mum. I think… I feel better now. I just have to keep supporting them. Someday, we’ll change it. We’ll change the system. Thank you, I love you.”

“Love you too my dear.”

– SB

Hey guys… back with another short story/ conversation. Whatever you want to call it. This is partly inspired by a conversation I had with my mother. (PS if you’ve read the importance of a name, you’d know my name isn’t Elysia but it is a very beautiful name)

I was (safe to say) very disappointed in the system and the way we were being treated and the words my mother said that day stuck with me.

We will create change. One day. We won’t stop till we make the world a better place.

From another frustrated, yet hopeful, student.

Thank you for reading. See you soon.

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MONSTERS (warrior women) #Fiction(4)

Blood dripping from my knuckles,

Eyes sunken deep.

Sweet smell like honeysuckles,

Awake even when you’re asleep.

Years of being put in a box

That’s where the revolution starts.

Trained our eyes like hawks,

All just to protect our parts.

They made the world unsafe,

Filled it with evil and pain.

Even those meant to keep us safe

Misused the trust for their own gain.

Centuries of being locked

Changed something in us.

A feral part unlocked

Just to fight for us thus.

Fighting for our survival

Since the day of our arrival.

Born or changed as daughters,

Left alone to wade through deep waters.

You call me a monster?

Oh, but darling, I’m a survivor.

(For society will not fight for us,

We will fight for us)

-SB

Hey guys. I’m back with another poem. This one inspired by how women have to fight for their safety and survival.

As a woman, if I or another woman ever fights back or raise our voice, we are labelled as “feral” or “monsters”.

But, in order to survive and live, we have to fight to protect ourselves.

So I guess, thinking about the whole patriarchal, misogynistic side of the world… I came up with this.

Hope you liked it! See you soon!

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Set me free #Fiction(3)

I feel heavy inside

A kind of heavy I can’t explain.

Can’t control it though I’ve tried

Now I don’t even feel the pain.

These tears that threaten to spill

They seem to flow from within

My heart seems to be ill,

and suddenly I feel them drip from my chin.

They seem to flow

Like a never-ending stream

I’m my own foe

And no one can hear my screams

Finally I fall

Onto my knees

Only strength to crawl

Just enough to say “please”.

And as I lie on the floor

I know my heart is broken and sore,

“I suppose,” I say as I breathe

“These tears have somehow set me free”

– SB

Hello again, you wonderful humans. I’m back with another poem and I hope you guys liked it. I guess the message I was going for is that sometimes you just need to let it go and cry in order to feel better and move on. It’s okay to cry and show emotions. It is really good to let things out.

Hope you enjoyed it. See you soon!

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Those nights with friends #Fiction(2)

This is a work of fiction. But also not really. Based on moments with the wonderful humans in my life. Enjoy 🙂

Its been a long day… I got back home and collapsed on the couch. Why is it okay for universities to give this much work? I rolled my shoulders and mentally prepared myself for a long night.

My phone buzzed. I looked to see who it was, prepared to ignore them, but I realised it was an all too familiar name. My annoying best friend. Somehow, she always seems to know when I’m on the verge of striking out.

I picked up. “HEYYYYY!” she yelled. I winced, “Al, do you always have to be so loud?”

“Sorry sorry I haven’t heard from you in a while so I was excited to talk to you.”

“My bad, Al. I’ve been dying under a pile of work. Plus… you saw me two days ago.”

“But I missed youuuu.” She whined like the cute person she is. My Al, whom I shall always protect. Too pure for this world.

“I missed you too. Sorry I’ve been MIA bestie”

“You better be sorry. So… what’s been going on?”

I knew she’d hear the tired in my voice the moment I reply. “Nothing, love. Just tired. So much of work. Sometimes it feels like I’m running and I’m still not able to catch up to those around me. But enough about me. Tell me about you.”

“I’m the same. Still ‘intimidating’ to those around me. I’m wondering… how can a smile be intimidating? At this rate, I’ll have to put a bag over my face when I go to class.”

I snickered “Well, if anyone can rock a bag over their head it’s you. And hang in there. They’re soon going to see the big ol’ softie you are and you’ll be complaining to me about how little time alone you’re getting.”

“That’s sweet. Hey, are you busy right now?”

“Well, I was going to fight a losing battle against my mountain of work but apart from that I’m free.”

“Okay. Remember when we said we’d do something spontaneous every now and then?”

“Yes… oh no, where is this going?”

“I’m going to the mart to buy some popcorn and ice cream and I’ll be over in twenty minutes tops.”

“Wait. Did you just… invite yourself over for a sleepover?”

“Yes I did. You’re welcome. You set up the place and we can waste our time together like old times.”

“Alright, alright, you’re set on this. I’ll be waiting.” She hangs up. She knows I sound exasperated but also that I’m secretly thrilled. Just like old times. She always knows exactly what I need. What did I do to deserve her?

Twenty minutes later, I hear the sound of my door being opened. I run to help her with the bags. I’d already cleared the couch and kept blankets for us, and Netflix was ready for us to watch till the sun rises.

And that’s what we do. Curled up on the couch. Watching TV. Laughing like old times. It feels like a weight has been lifted.

I poke her and when she looks at me I say “Thank you.” She beams in response.

And in those long hours we spent watching I know we both thanked the gods for letting us find each other.

For always giving us a safe space. We’ve been best friends for years. Sisters for life.

And I realise… you don’t need the big moments, the flashy moments in life. All you need is a friend to stay by your side. A friend with whom you can watch the sunrise with and make stupid decisions and laugh and cry with.

All the best moments in life, are hidden in those little moments.

And that is what makes you complete.

– SB

Posting twice in one day, who am I? Anyway, this is a short story? Interlude? Episode? Whatever you want to call it

It’s dedicated to my beasties, sorry besties (lol, don’t kill me), who have stayed by my side through thick and thin and everything in between.

I love you guys.

Hope you enjoyed it.

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Company #Fiction(1)

I hold out my hand

To the person standing before me.

And while we stand,

We realise how farther we are from just knee deep.

What started as testing the waters

Is now a reason to breathe.

My voice no longer falters,

Because of what we’ve together seen.

Hand in hand we face,

The world stretching out

We never fall with grace,

But that’s never what we’re about.

The world is a difficult place,

Cruel, alight, glorious.

But together we face

Feeling safe and victorious.

For victory is not battles won

But the company with whom we run.

-SB

Hey guys. So this is the first of a series of works of fiction I’ll be doing. Like poems, stories and articles.

This is a poem that came to me, part fiction, part life.

The things I write are a part of me. I hope you like the poem.

Let me know what you guys think. ❤

See you next time.

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