2 A.M #Fiction(8) [the line is blurry:)]

Its 2 am.

God. Its already been five hours since I got into bed and I haven’t slept a wink.

We don’t talk anymore. I guess its not the whole cause but part of the cause for why I can’t sleep.

I don’t know. I don’t know how I was so stupid to trust you when you said you would stay. When you said you could be trusted. People like me… don’t trust easily.

But why is it that when we do we give it to the wrong person?

I haven’t slept a wink since then. Not that I slept before that but it became a lot worse. I stopped eating. It was all worse than before.

I let myself go.

All because I trusted the wrong person.

Tell me, was I just a backup the whole time? Because I was forgiving so many times before, did I bring it upon myself? The pain and the lies.

I guess I was a convenient replacement but you didn’t expect me to turn away when I had enough.

It has been almost two years since I closed myself off. Any attempt to reach out on your side was to fill your pride and vanity and tinged with a layer of glass shards.

That day when you “cried” and said you didn’t know and you missed the signs and they didn’t tell you, was a lie. You said you’d work to gain it back, swore it to my mother and yet you did nothing. You thought, if you spoke with your poisonous silver tongue, I would fall for it again?

Remember when I waited to talk things through but you went and blabbered your nonsense to our friends? Behind my back? That was when I knew. Any ounce of care I thought you had was a lie.

Its 2 am.

I’m still awake. I’m no longer hurting. Not as much as I was then.

I have a steel cage around my heart.

I might wish things were different but I know I’m better this way and one day I’ll prove it to myself that I didn’t need you.

And that day, I’ll be able to sleep again.

– SB

Hey. Yeah I know. Let’s call it fiction for the sake of it. 🙈

This is for those out there who has been betrayed before and lost yourself for a while because you never thought they would.

You are pure. You are wonderful. You don’t need them.

With time, you’ll love yourself again. Until then, please treat yourself with kindness.

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